I love to-do lists. Always have. But my relationship with them has changed—dramatically.
For years, my lists were all about productivity. My main one was literally called The Productivity List, and it ruled me like a caffeinated squirrel with a clipboard. If I wasn’t checking boxes, I felt like a failure.
Sound familiar? That’s the productivity trap. Especially in America, where we wear busyness like a badge of honor. We brag about how much we get done, how little we sleep, and how many plates we keep spinning. But productivity alone doesn’t make us whole—it just makes us tired.
Why I Don’t Trust My Memory (And You Shouldn’t Either)
Even after I loosened my grip on productivity, I didn’t give up on lists. I just use them differently now. They’re less about control and more about giving my brain some breathing room. And that leads to memory—because I don’t rely on mine anymore. I can’t. Which is exactly why I keep lists in the first place…
My brain deserves better than carrying grocery lists, deadlines, blog ideas, and “don’t forget to text your friend back.” I’d rather keep my mind relaxed and creative, and let technology do the remembering for me.
That’s why I keep all my lists on my phone and Alexa glasses. Whenever I think of something, I just say:
“Hey Alexa, add [thing] to [list].”
Boom. It’s saved. Later, I can check the full list on my phone, or if I want something tangible, I print it out on my tiny sticky-note printer. (Yes, I carry printed lists around in my backpack like they’re baseball cards. No shame.)
This way, lists never feel cumbersome. They’re light, easy, and always there when I need them.
Lists as Memory Keepers (aka My Brain’s Backup Drive)
I don’t use lists to prove my worth; I use them to remember.
I have lists for inside work. Outside work. My five jobs (yes five). Blog topics. Website updates. Things I want to talk to friends about. And yes, I even have lists of my lists. I couldn’t accomplish everything I need to without them.
They’re not my rulers anymore. They’re my helpers.
In fact, I use them the way Dumbledore used his pensieve—that magical silver basin where he poured memories when they got too heavy to hold in his head. That’s what my lists are for: catching what my brain can’t carry, so I don’t forget who I am or what matters.
The Kumquat List (aka One List to Rule Them All)
Yes, I really call mine the Kumquat List. Why? Because Alexa understands “kumquat” better than “productivity.” (Say “add that to my productivity list” and suddenly you’re buying Prada duct tape.)
Here’s what makes the Kumquat List special:
- It’s my list of lists—the one list to rule them all.
- It holds the 3–5 most important things I want to keep in focus.
- Things can live there for a day, a week, or more. It doesn’t demand. It just reminds.
- It’s the only list I print daily on my little sticky-note printer and carry in my backpack.
It doesn’t crack the whip. It doesn’t shout. My list simply whispers: “Hey, remember this? It matters.”
And yours doesn’t have to be the Kumquat List. Call it the Anchor List, the Sanity List, the Potato List. The name doesn’t matter. The grounding does.
The Wellspring List (The Best List of All)
But my favorite list—the one that changed everything—is what I call the Wellspring List.
The Wellspring List isn’t about getting things done. It’s about staying whole.
And here’s the important thing: my Wellspring List has about 30 items on it. Things that make my day feel alive—walks, yoga, spiritual counseling, check in on a friend, learning Italian so I can gossip with grandmas in an Italian piazza—those are just a taste.
Do I finish them all every day? Absolutely not. But when I touch even one, I feel more like myself. That’s the power of the Wellspring List—it’s not a demand, it’s an invitation.
Why Productivity Lists Don’t Work
Here’s the big shift:
- Productivity lists ask: What did you achieve?
- The Wellspring List asks: What made you feel alive today?
One keeps you running. The other keeps you rooted.
One turns you into a squirrel on caffeine. The other reminds you that you’re a human being, not a human doing.
And let’s be real—the world doesn’t need more exhausted overachievers. It needs more whole humans.
How to Create Your Own To-Do Lists That Work
If you want to make lists that help instead of haunt, here’s how:
- Pick fun names. Kumquat, Wellspring, Potato, Unicorn—whatever makes you smile. Naming matters more than you think.
- Make your “one list to rule them all.” Choose 3–5 things that matter most and keep them visible. This is your Kumquat (or whatever you call it).
- Make your Wellspring List. Fill it with as many things as you like—your version of 5 to 30 reminders of joy, energy, and wholeness.
- Use your tools. Speak lists into your phone or Alexa. Print them if you like. The easier they are, the more helpful they’ll be.
- Stop chasing completion. You don’t “win” by finishing the list. You “win” by dipping into it—touching even one thing that brings you back to yourself.
Wellspring Brainstorm: 10 Starters for Your Own List
Not sure where to begin? Here are a few ideas to spark your Wellspring List:
- Take a walk in nature
- Call a friend just to say hi
- Cook something from scratch
- Read a chapter of a book you love
- Meditate or simply sit in quiet
- Learn a phrase in another language
- Dance to one song in your kitchen
- Journal for ten minutes
- Listen to music that makes you smile
- Do something creative—paint, sing, doodle, anything
Remember: your Wellspring List is yours. Add thirty, fifty, or a hundred things if you want. You don’t have to do them all—you just have to remember them.
Focus on your purpose or many purposes. Read here for more info on this —> The Meaning We Make – Connect to Your Purpose
To-Do Lists as Companions, Not Bosses
At the end of the day, my lists don’t yell at me anymore. They don’t measure my worth or drag me into the productivity trap. They walk alongside me—like nerdy little sidekicks reminding me of what matters most.
The Kumquat List keeps me focused. The Wellspring List keeps me whole. And all the others? They keep me from forgetting to buy dog food.
So maybe today’s not about making another productivity list. Maybe it’s about asking:
👉 What belongs on your Wellspring List?
👉 And what would you name your Kumquat List?
Because the best to-do lists don’t just keep you productive. They keep you whole.