The DESIGN Framework: A Gentle Guide for Questioning Your Faith

(Adapted from my book, The Heretical Handbook to Reclaiming Reverence)

When faith shifts, it can feel like the ground beneath your feet is giving way. Beliefs that once brought comfort no longer fit. Community that once felt like home may now feel foreign. The God you once trusted may seem distant or different. Questioning your faith can be disorienting, but it also opens the door to a deeper kind of reverence.

The DESIGN framework offers six natural movements of the soul: Discovering, Exploring, Shattering, Inspiring, Growing, and Nurturing. Each stage gives language to what you may already be experiencing and provides a way to move with courage through change.

D — Discovering

This is the moment when the first cracks appear. A question rises you can’t silence. A sermon leaves you unsettled instead of comforted. A verse once sacred now feels harsh.

Discovering is about noticing. You don’t need to act yet. You simply allow the whisper of curiosity to be heard.

The truth is never afraid of your questions. It waits patiently, even tenderly, while you dare to ask them.

Reflection: Keep a journal of the moments that stir doubt or wonder. Write them down without judgment. They are the seeds of something sacred.

E — Exploring

Once you allow the questions, curiosity expands. You pick up a new book, listen to a podcast from another tradition, or hear stories from others who’ve walked this road.

Exploring widens your perspective. Like stepping outside a dark room into sunlight, it can be blinding at first. Over time, your vision adjusts, and you begin to see more.

Exploration is the soul’s way of saying there’s more light than we imagined.

Reflection: Give yourself permission to read voices outside your tradition. What resonates? What challenges you? Where do you feel alive?

S — Shattering

This is the most painful stage. Old certainties collapse. The scaffolding of belief, identity, and belonging can come crashing down. Shattering feels like loss—because it is.

It is also sacred. Just as a seed must crack open for life to emerge, sometimes our frameworks must break to make space for truth.

Grief, when honored, becomes the soul’s refusal to settle for lies.

Reflection: Name what is breaking. Is it the belief itself? The fear tied to it? The community that demanded it? And alongside the loss, name what still feels true.

I — Inspiring

After the dust of shattering begins to settle, light filters through. You notice sparks of meaning in unexpected places: a song that lifts you, a walk in nature that feels holy, a conversation that restores hope.

Inspiring stirs the heart awake again. Glimpses of beauty, clarity, and connection remind you that life is still sacred and that joy is possible.

The heart is resilient. Even after faith fractures, it knows how to turn toward the light.

Reflection: Each day, write down one thing that feels like “yes.” It might be as small as the warmth of sunlight or as profound as a new spiritual practice.

G — Growing

Here, you begin to build again. Not a rigid structure, but a living practice. You experiment with rituals that connect you—lighting a candle, meditating, walking, praying in your own words. You test new ways of being in relationships, new rhythms of rest and work, new forms of sacred community.

Growth comes through steady integration. Little by little, your insights shape the fabric of your life.

To grow is to become more alive in your own skin, more honest in your own soul.

Reflection: Choose one small practice that feels grounding. Do it with intention, not perfection. Notice how it reshapes your days.

N — Nurturing

Eventually, you reach a place where you live your reimagined faith with steadiness. You no longer need to justify it to anyone. You simply inhabit it. And often, you begin to turn outward, helping others who are just beginning their journey.

Nurturing is a stage of rootedness. It carries the quiet strength of someone who has walked through fire and found their soul intact.

The sacred life is shaped by those who dared to question and then lived their answers with grace.

Reflection: Consider how you can nurture both yourself and others. Sometimes it’s as simple as presence: listening, being, walking alongside.

Who This Is For

This path is for anyone rethinking their faith—whether you remain within your tradition, step outside of it, or weave something new. Some stay in their communities with fresh perspective. Others find freedom in leaving. Many discover that reverence flows not only through institutions but through the whole of life.

The DESIGN framework reminds you: your questions are a beginning.

FAQs

Is DESIGN about leaving religion?

It supports staying, leaving, returning, or reimagining—whatever leads to honest, whole living.

What if I started this journey years ago?

You can begin anywhere. Revisit stages to illuminate where you are now and how you can support others.

What if I feel guilty for questioning?

Questioning is a sign of aliveness. DESIGN gives language for growth and space for honesty.

How do I know when to pause or seek help?

If the process reopens trauma, pause and get professional support. Healing comes first.

Will this replace my beliefs?

It helps you sift beliefs, keep what’s life-giving, and build practices that fit your deepest values.

A Closing Word

Every question you carry is a doorway. Every doubt is an opening. DESIGN is not about rushing to answers—it is about walking steadily through change, discovering new ways of seeing, and finding reverence in places you may have never looked before. May this path remind you that you are never walking alone, and that your questions hold the seeds of your renewal.